


our planet from far, far away

by irlkeithkogane



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Suicide, THIS IS TERRIBLE AND ANGSTY AND BASICALLY JUST ME VENTING SORRY, also theres like vomit but not in a kinky way or anything, but if u have emetophobia be careful idk, jsisdsj dont even read this its literally so bad, klance, klangst, ok this is my first ever fanfic pls be nice to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 11:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7800646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlkeithkogane/pseuds/irlkeithkogane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance misses Earth. Keith can understand that, because he misses something, too. For him, it’s not a place, or even a person—it’s a feeling, one he hasn’t really felt for as long as he can remember. But the closest he gets to it is when he’s with Lance.</p><p>(aka stupid, terribly written venty bullshit.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	our planet from far, far away

Lance misses Earth. Keith can understand that, because he misses something, too. For him, it’s not a place, or even a person—it’s a feeling, one he hasn’t really felt for as long as he can remember. But the closest he gets to it is when he’s with Lance.

Still, when he’s lying in his bed, alone in the darkness, feeling nothing but empty, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to find that feeling again. When the world is so cold that he’s shivering, even beneath as many layers of blankets as he could get, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to find that feeling again. When he goes the whole night without sleeping because his mind is so full of thoughts of how everyone would be better off without him that it feels like it’s going to burst at the seams, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to find that feeling again. So if someone asked him why he did what he did, he’d say he was just tired. Tired of trying. Tired of everything.

It hurts, of course. His wrists hurt where they’ve been cut open, his stomach hurts as the pills start destroying his internal organs, his heart hurts as he thinks about how he’s never going to see Lance again. Does he regret it? Part of him does. A bigger part of him doesn’t. That’s why he doesn’t call for help, even as blood pours down the bathtub drain and the pain begins to disappear. There’s blackness at the edges of his vision. Slowly, it fills up his universe until everything is completely dark. His last thought is that he’s really going to miss Lance’s hugs.

It’s not until the next morning that Lance starts to wonder where Keith is. When he knocks on Keith’s door and there’s no response, he just figures Keith is in a really deep sleep, but when Keith doesn’t show up for breakfast, a ball of dread starts to form in the pit of his stomach. It feels like it’s weighing him down. He keeps knocking on Keith’s door, louder and louder, but the only response is silence. A few of the other paladins walk by and question what he’s doing, and he explains in as few words as possible. For once, he’s not talking way too much. Finally, he gives up on knocking and pulls open the door with shaking hands.

A chill runs down his spine as he notices the empty bottles of pills scattered across the floor. No, he shouldn’t make assumptions. He knows Keith gets depressed a lot, and he knows Keith hurts himself sometimes, and he knows Keith has been suicidal before, but surely Keith wouldn’t do that, right? Not now, when they’re all depending on him. After all, they can’t form Voltron without him, and he must know that. And yet… there’s not really another explanation for this, unless maybe Keith just thought empty pill bottles would make nice decorations.

“Keith?” he calls out, trying to ignore the tremor in his own voice. Everything will be fine, he just knows it will.

Except Keith doesn’t reply, nor does he appear from somewhere in the room, and Lance is really starting to doubt that everything really will be fine. He keeps trying to tell himself that Keith knows how essential his survival is to the survival of everyone else, and that Keith wouldn’t do something that stupid, and that Keith is perfectly fine, but somewhere deep inside, he has a feeling that’s not true. His lungs are tight and his heart is pounding as he walks into the bathroom. His eyes move across the counter, across the floor to the bathtub—oh god.

Keith is lying there, his clothes soaked in blood and vomit, and yet for a moment Lance thinks there might be hope until he notices Keith’s eyes are open and glassy and he isn’t breathing. Neither is Lance. He doesn’t realize he’s falling until he finds himself on his knees, slumped on the cold tile floor. This is his fault. He should’ve noticed Keith was acting weird, should’ve done something to prevent it, should’ve saved Keith somehow. And he didn’t, because he’s useless. He should’ve been the one who died, not Keith. Not perfect, wonderful, amazing Keith, who’s about as far from useless as somebody can get. Or—was. His heart shatters at the realization that it’s past-tense now. Everything about Keith is past-tense. He’s dead, gone, and he’s never coming back.

“Why would you do that?” he chokes out. For a second he almost expects Keith to answer with some snappy comment. He doesn’t, of course, and Lance sobs harder, banging his head against the floor until it hurts so badly he can barely think. It doesn’t hurt nearly as much as the incredible ache in his chest.

Nothing could hurt as much as this.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is borderlinekeithkogane if anyone cares
> 
> also i apologize for the hecking terrible writing quality i... suck and also this is my first ever fic and most of it was written at like 2 AM


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